Monday, June 1, 2009

Pray for me

I am nothing. The teachings that were given at Zone Conference opened my eyes big time, and caused me to realize that ANY decision made that is contrary to the Spirit is also contrary to the plan and will of God. I admit I am guilty of this way too much, and my prayers have already become more humble and more of a conversation with God, because that's what it's supposed to be. And yet, in many ways I still feel that I am not contributing to this work the way I know I am capable of doing. I'm humbling myself as much as possible and seeking to lose myself in the Lord's service. It's just hard when you know you can do more and do better but don't know how to tell others that. Nonetheless, I am grateful to be serving God by serving others. Wilmington needs it more than ever, and after Zone Conference I have a much better idea of how to follow the Spirit no matter what. Missionary work can't be done without it, but I forget that way too much and it's no wonder why we're not baptizing or teaching 20 lessons a week. Ironically, it's because we pray for opportunities to serve and teach, then they come to us and we ignore them! Satan is hard at work, and it's sad to see how strong of an influence he can have on each of us....but only because we let him! It's no use getting discouraged about, just another of Satan's tactics as he seeks to distract me from true happiness. I really liked those scriptures you shared in D&C 11, they describe this past week in a big way.

Right now, I really need everyone's prayers. This is a trying time, not just for those in this area but also for myself. Luckily, fast Sunday is next week and it couldn't come at a better time. I was reading through some old letters the other day, and came across something Mom said back in April, I believe: Satan wants us to forget, while Jesus wants us to remember. Lately I have forgotten that the Lord issued this call to serve through His prophet, that he sent me to this area, and only He knows the good that I can do here. Everyone has tasks and assignments that only they can perform, and I think I've been trying to hard to be like other missionaries. It won't happen, because I'm not them and they aren't me! The strength that comes from mighty prayer and diligent scripture study have been tremendous sources of peace and consolation during those difficult days.

I am grateful to know that the Lord is richly blessing you. Hard to believe that the school year is over, I'm sure the kids are excited for summer! I hope you enjoyed my letter, my hand definitely got a workout! We had quite the storm the other night, there was actually a tornado warning. Sirens were going off constantly, there was some crazy thunder and lightning too. The sky was pitch black as well. We happened to be outside at around 8:30 PM talking to someone when some guys started yelling to look at the sky. So we did, and there was some circulating clouds right above our heads. There were reports of several funnel clouds that touched down in various places, but luckily not on our apartment. The Lord is so merciful to us, and especially when we acknowledge His hand in all things. I pray that He will continue to watch over you and guide you each day, and that your prayers will be answered as you exercise faith. This is something I am also working on, and I just know that the Lord will prepare a way for all His commandments to be accomplished. Have a wonderful week, I love you all!

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